Of course we wish from the bottom of our hearts that this acquaintance would be successful, harmonious and perhaps even easy. But nevertheless, we often face certain difficulties. Why is it sometimes so difficult to make acquaintances at matrimonial sites? Why does flirting the most enjoyable and easy pastime often turn into hard work?
Psychology defines three phases of dating:
- The first phase is formal acquaintance. It simply transmits some information about each other is not binding.
- The second phase is emotional relations, rapprochement on the basis of common interests and views. During this phase, people define their points of contact in some spheres both intellectually and emotionally.
- The third phase is a possible transition to intimate and spousal relations. Here we are talking about long-term relationships, which include not only the transition to sexual relations, but also more subtle mechanisms of interaction between partners.
Successful passage of all three phases leads to the initial goal of acquaintance for marriage. But we will focus in more detail on the first phase, which is sometimes a decisive phase for getting to know each other and is often important in subsequent relationships. We are talking about communication, in which the main role is not so much the words themselves as the meaning that these words carry. Often because of the difference between words and their connotations, as well as because of the failure of the interlocutors to grasp the true meaning of words and there is a mutual misunderstanding that seriously complicates the development of any relationship, especially at the very first steps.
It is possible to understand the true meaning of the words of the interlocutor by analyzing three elements of any communication: context, text and connotation. Context – this is the situation in which the communication takes place: lunch, party, a conversation with a companion in transport or a date. The same words spoken by the same person in different situations will have a different meaning. The question “How are you doing?” will be perceived differently in different situations, in the work environment and between close people who are interested in what is being asked. The text is actually the words that have been spoken at any meeting. Subtext includes intonations and the language that the body uses when saying a text. It gives us all relevant information about the person with whom we communicate.
When communicating with only 20-30 percent of the information we get actually from the text that is spoken by our conversation partner. The rest we “read” from his posture, gestures, facial expressions and intonations. Understanding the meaning of the whole complex of information sent by the interlocutor, embedded in us nature and got from the ancestors’ animals. Therefore, man may not always believe in what he is told, referring to intuition. Because there is a discrepancy between the text (verbale) and the subtext (nonverbale). You are told a compliment, but the look wander, somewhere behind you or in the intonation you hear indifference. And in the other case, despite the stiffness and conciseness of the interlocutor, you know exactly what you express sympathy and interest. Attention and sensitivity to the interlocutor, to his words and behavior, is the most important step to establish contact with new friends and the possibility of developing further relationships.
Now every person has an opportunity to get acquainted on the Internet and avoid embarrassing situations at the first acquaintance. It is enough just to open the category men looking for women on the dating site and start looking for someone interesting for you.